Today I had a thought about why people go after certain things. Why do we value the things that we value? There are people I’ve met that are obsessed with finding fame and/or fortune. They’ll go to great lengths to get as much attention as possible and view their self-worth as a number of likes on Instagram. I’ve met some people that completely shun any kind of attention and really just want to be left alone and not be seen by society.
There’s as many unavailable men and women chasing co-dependent partners as there are co-dependent partners obsessing over unavailable options. There are people giving up all materialism to focus on the state of their mental well-being. And then those who don’t care about their mental well-being but prefer to live for the status they get from their possessions.
But why are there such differences and why do people really value anything at all? It all comes down to trying to fulfill the deepest need their emotional body desires.
You’d be surprised to find how many fame-obsessed celebrities only care about their fame because they grew up with a lack of approval and love. And so they form a compulsive yearning for a fake, validating love from as many people as possible. Yet often times they end their lives tragically from a drug overdose or suicide or whatever other dysfunction they turn to when they realize the fake love of fame is not enough. Because it wasn’t real love. Lady Gaga said it best, “It wasn’t love, it was a perfect illusion.”
I challenge you to look at the things you desire and ask yourself what need it’s filling? Where does that need come from? We’ll often find that it literally has nothing to do with the object, or person, or cute shoes, or job status that we’re obsessively chasing. What we’re ultimately looking for is to fill the emotional voids we’re missing within ourselves. We’re all looking to become whole, happy, and emotionally complete.
When you can really focus on filling the emotional voids within yourself you may find that you no longer desire certain things. Emotional voids can be caused by all kinds of traumas throughout our lives. So look at the things you obsessively desire and go inward asking the question “What happened to me that is making me want this?” Is this desire you have really going to fulfill your emotional need or is it just a mask for something that only you can fulfill through self-healing?
I challenge you to look at what you’re chasing whether it be a job status, a partner, a larger apartment, etc. Healthy desires are an extension of a positive emotion you already have within yourself that will amplify it. Unhealthy desires are things you think are going to “fix” an emotional void but you KNOW will not because they’re coming from a place of void/lack.
Sending you lots of love, joy, and serenity,
Eros
Eros V 