The Truth Behind Your Desires

by Eros V
Today I had a thought about why people go after certain things. Why do we value the things that we value? There are people I’ve met that are obsessed with finding fame and/or fortune. They’ll go to great lengths to get as much attention as possible and view their self-worth as a number of likes on Instagram. I’ve met some people that completely shun any kind of attention and really just want to be left alone and not be seen by society.

There’s as many unavailable men and women chasing  co-dependent partners as there are co-dependent partners obsessing over unavailable options. There are people giving up all materialism to focus on the state of their mental well-being. And then those who don’t care about their mental well-being but prefer to live for the status they get from their possessions.

But why are there such differences and why do people really value anything at all? It all comes down to trying to fulfill the deepest need their emotional body desires.

You’d be surprised to find how many fame-obsessed celebrities only care about their fame because they grew up with a lack of approval and love. And so they form a compulsive yearning for a fake, validating love from as many people as possible. Yet often times they end their lives tragically from a drug overdose or suicide or whatever other dysfunction they turn to when they realize the fake love of fame is not enough. Because it wasn’t real love. Lady Gaga said it best, “It wasn’t love, it was a perfect illusion.”

I challenge you to look at the things you desire and ask yourself what need it’s filling? Where does that need come from? We’ll often find that it literally has nothing to do with the object, or person, or cute shoes, or job status that we’re obsessively chasing. What we’re ultimately looking for is to fill the emotional voids we’re missing within ourselves. We’re all looking to become whole, happy, and emotionally complete.

When you can really focus on filling the emotional voids within yourself you may find that you no longer desire certain things. Emotional voids can be caused by all kinds of traumas throughout our lives. So look at the things you obsessively desire and go inward asking the question “What happened to me that is making me want this?” Is this desire you have really going to fulfill your emotional need or is it just a mask for something that only you can fulfill through self-healing?

I challenge you to look at what you’re chasing whether it be a job status, a partner, a larger apartment, etc. Healthy desires are an extension of a positive emotion you already have within yourself that will amplify it. Unhealthy desires are things you think are going to “fix” an emotional void but you KNOW will not because they’re coming from a place of void/lack.

Sending you lots of love, joy, and serenity,

Eros

Allowing Life to Happen

by Eros V

Today I started thinking about the importance of allowing life to flow and guide us to what’s best for us. I have spent my 20’s like most people casually dating and trying to find the “right” or “best” possible match. Each time I thought I had found one “better” than the last it would in one way or another not workout. Sometimes it was my choice to leave the relationship. Sometimes it was on their end. Fear would ensue and I’d find myself trying to hold onto something that I really had no control over. How can you control love? How can you control who comes in and out of your life? You honestly can’t…

After each relationship ending I would look back and realize it wasn’t as great as I thought it was. But each one still had a purpose. I learned more from each one about what I need in a relationship. Or perhaps I healed an old wound I didn’t even realize needed to be healed. Or I learned how to care more for myself. Or how to be more loving and open to someone else. Each one taught me something…

And so the most important lesson right now I feel like we all need to learn is to just allow life to be. Allow what is happening to happen knowing it is for the best. It is for the best. When we get caught up in the confusion of “why is this happening to me?!” we completely lose ourselves. We get completely off balance. And it’s only when we look back that we realize something really was for the best.

So I leave you with this thought. Let go and allow the higher power that guides everything to make what’s best happen. Trust it, love it, attune yourself to it. It’s through allowing that we can make space for what’s best for us. And also let go of the mania from trying to control and understand what we cannot control and understand.

Sending you much peace, love and light,

Eros

The Arrows of Relationship Building

by Eros V

GoldenArrowOffer something before you ask for something. People are more likely to help you out if you help them out. Call it karma, reciprocity, or “The Golden Rule,” but people are much more likely to provide for you if you provide for them.

GoldenArrowBe a professional but also a friend. Having humanity in business is the key to making everything flow properly. Be professional when you network but also be warm, friendly, and loving. Business relationships, like all relationships, require love for things to flow smoothly. And people are much more likely to keep returning to you for business if you made them feel good. Don’t just treat them like a cold transaction.

GoldenArrowPreparation is key. Whether you’re going into a meeting, an interview, or a new venture, you have to be prepared. Everything works out when we have an opportunity but also have the preparation for it to flourish. When you’re prepared you’re much more likely to be in a positive state which will show in your presentation and your communication.

GoldenArrowTrust keeps relationships together. If you do something unethical to win business you will lose the trust of your coworkers and your clients. And once you lose trust, it’s nearly impossible to get back. Likewise the more trust you build with someone the more likely they are to always come back with opportunities.

GoldenArrowPay attention to how you feel. Feelings can take you wherever they want but chances are they won’t always direct you where you want to go. By being emotionally intelligent we can then turn negative emotions into positive ones and better cope with obstacles and challenges.

GoldenArrowLearn the balance between speaking and listening. It’s always good to balance communicating to the other person but also listen and understand their needs. Too much talking will make you miss opportunities to learn and understand your clients. Too much listening will not convey what you need the other party to know.

GoldenArrowKeep your promises. This goes back to gaining and maintaining trust. If you keep your promises then people will rely on you and trust you. This creates strong bonds that keeps business thriving. Everyone wants to do business with someone they trust can always deliver for them.